Geswanouth Slahoot..

Lament for Confederation

How long have I known you, Oh Canada? A hundred years? Yes, a hundred years. And many, many seelanum more. And today, when you celebrate your hundred years, Oh Canada, I am sad for all the Indian people throughout the land.

For I have known you when your forests were mine; when they gave me my meat and my clothing. I have known you in your streams and rivers where your fish flashed and danced in the sun, where the waters said 'come, come and eat of my abundance.' I have known you in the freedom of the winds. And my spirit, like the winds, once roamed your good lands.

But in the long hundred years since the white man came, I have seen my freedom disappear like the salmon going mysteriously out to sea. The white man's strange customs, which I could not understand, pressed down upon me until I could no longer breathe.

When I fought to protect my land and my home, I was called a savage. When I neither understood nor welcomed his way of life, I was called lazy. When I tried to rule my people, I was stripped of my authority.

My nation was ignored in your history textbooks - they were little more important in the history of Canada than the buffalo that ranged the plains. I was ridiculed in your plays and motion pictures, and when I drank your fire-water, I got drunk - very, very drunk. And I forgot.

Oh Canada, how can I celebrate with you this Centenary, this hundred years? Shall I thank you for the reserves that are left to me of my beautiful forests? For the canned fish of my rivers? For the loss of my pride and authority, even among my own people? For the lack of my will to fight back? No! I must forget what's past and gone.

Oh God in heaven! Give me back the courage of the olden chiefs. Let me wrestle with my surroundings. Let me again, as in the days of old, dominate my environment. Let me humbly accept this new culture and through it rise up and go on.

Oh God! Like the thunderbird of old I shall rise again out of the sea; I shall grab the instruments of the white man's success - his education, his skills - and with these new tools I shall build my race into the proudest segment of your society.

Before I follow the great chiefs who have gone before us, Oh Canada, I shall see these things come to pass. I shall see our young braves and our chiefs sitting in the houses of law and government, ruling and being ruled by the knowledge and freedoms of our great land.

So shall we shatter the barriers of our isolation. So shall the next hundred years be the greatest in the proud history of our tribes and nations.

Chief Dan George

Born July 24, 1899

Died September 23, 1981

If you have ever watched the movie 'The Outlaw Josey Wales' you will have seen him in steal the show from the main character, but he did it with such grace and style.. take a look..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPFP_XazE5U&feature=related

Job Dedication..

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

"The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife"
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. Then, they heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

THE BOTTLE OF WINE..

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

"Good trade....."

And Still There Are Some Who Maintain That Spelling Is Not Important..

Deer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person,  Pepole really seam to respond to me well.
I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.  My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely.  Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

It Has Been Done Before..

First flown in 1929, the British airship R101 crashed in bad weather over France on the morning of October 5th 1930, killing 54 people. At the time, it was the largest aircraft in the world at 777 feet. Its sister ship, R100, was decommissioned a year later.

The lift gas was Hydrogen, lighter than air but a little volatile to say the least.

The hangar where these two airships were built still stands at Cardington, England.

Did aviators learn from this disaster? No, they did not. The Hindenburg, 808 feet in length and only shorter than the SS Titanic by 78 feet, was started in 1931, but due to financial problems was halted and not resumed until 1935. May 3rd1937 saw the Hindenburg burst into flames, 36 people losing their lives. It too was filled with Hydrogen, but only because Germany was not allowed Helium by the United States, the only source at the time. It remains today the largest aircraft to ever fly.

It was at this point where it appeared to dawn on the world at large that maybe airships were not the way to travel. Aviators did learn this time, but the dream stayed alive.

No piece on airships would be complete without mention of the Goodyear Blimp. There have actually been 300 made since the very first in 1911. The current fleet are roughly 192 feet long, and are used as advertising and photography platforms. They are Helium filled and there has only been one crash, I think.

So, have airships finally found their vocation? Is the dream of a large luxurious airship gone forever? No, it hasn't.

The picture below is an artist impression of the next generation 'lighter than air' aircraft. The general idea is that it will enable 250 people to drift around in consummate luxury, much like R101 and Hindenburg attempted to do years ago. The questions are these. Even though the airship will be Helium filled, would you really want to drift around in an airship larger than most International airport buildings? Would you feel safe watching this thing pass over your house? This is Thunderbird 2 on steroids, a floating 'Canary Wharf'...

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set

A Non-lethal Weapon?

Sixteen deaths in Canada, and one hundred and fifty deaths in the US alone, would suggest that the Taser is anything but non-lethal as claimed. Rules applying to the use of handguns do not apply to the Taser, other than there being some restrictions on how and where they can be carried. Most US states permit the sale of these weapons to the general public.

These weapons have the stopping power of a .357 Magnum. They fire two barbs which remain connected to the weapon by wires. The essence is that the weapon delivers a fifty thousand volt charge over a five second period via the wires and barbs.

The general public have a choice of the gun style as shown in the picture above, or a version which looks more like a flashlight, and in a choice of colors to match ones favorite outfit.


Make no mistake. Despite the claims of the manufacturer, these weapons can kill or be a major factor in the ensuing death of anybody unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end.

In The News..

More garlic?

A guy in Germany is serving a life sentence for practising cannibalism. He claims to be normal, and that he ate a willing candidate found on the Internet. The idea first came into his head after his mother read the story of 'Hansel and Gretel' to him. Well, chum, I remember the story too as will many others, but note how we have not gotten the urge to eat anybody.

It may placate you to know that human flesh is tough, bitter and tastes like pork according to this nut. There is a chance that he could be released after fifteen years as he is claimed not to be mad, but more disturbed. Make a note of today, and fifteen years hence carry a label with you at all times with the words 'Suitable for animal feed only', which you should pin on yourself very quickly in the event that you are approached by a lunatic wielding a knife, fork and spoon.

Alligator Alley

A guy in Florida has been sentenced to death for one failed attempted murder and one success. He befriended a woman and her young child through a church reach out organisation, but lost his cool after being asked to leave the woman's house. He left the house but took the woman and child. Having choked the woman to the point where she was unconscious, leaving her in a field to die, he then took the child to some water alongside Alligator Alley, and dropped her into it. The child was killed by an alligator.

The State will earmark this dude for death by lethal injection, but I think that the mother of the child should decide his fate. I know what I would pick for him, and I would ensure that they crushed more than his skull and remove one arm.

WMD? Do we have any?

Sir, yes Sir. We think that it may have been flown across the country, if the note from the other base is to be believed. Oh believe it for sure. A strategic bomber of the US Air Force flew across the country carrying six nuclear weapons of mass destruction and nobody was aware until the cleaners were sweeping out the airplane?

This is 'Homeland Security'? Guys, you are a greater danger to yourselves and the rest of us than ever the Iranian Black Guard will be.

Downrange

Never live close by a farm where they breed pigs and chickens. Never live at the end of a busy airstrip. It is way too noisy. Obvious choices of places not to live for sure, but you can add one more place to the list. A farm in Qatar had a patriot drop in from a US military base recently. Nope, not a flag waving soldier or a Qatar patriot. We are talking a Patriot missile, and Qatar is on the side of the US.

The powers at the US base are looking into it, and to make it easier for them, I have some advice. Ask which of the soldiers on the base pressed the button. It may speed up the process somewhat.

A New Writer?

Condoleeza Rice must have a new scriptwriter, because she has actually spoken of a great new idea to solve the Middle East Crisis. The idea is that we give the Palestinians a State all of their own. Yo, Condie, they already did have a place of their own, but Palestine was taken from them and called something else. The Palestinians have been making this point for years, and only now do you and the US Administration catch on?

Of course, the idea is good until one looks at a map of the area. The State of Israel is bordered by Syria, Jordan and Egypt's Sinai Desert. These countries will no more give up part of their territory than Missouri, Arkansas and Oklahoma would!!

There are still way more days of this administration left to run than there should be.

60 Years Later..

First drawn as a sketch in 1947 by a Dutch auto dealer, it appeared as a panel van and bus in 1950, and as a camper in 1951. Utilizing the same engine and running parts as the 'Beetle', it was never going to be a racer, managing only 62 mph (100km/hr) in ideal conditions, but it was fuel efficient, incredibly tough, and very versatile.

Like the Beetle and Mini, it has remained almost timeless in its original design despite the fact that it has been around for many years.

This is the ubiquitous, world famous Volkswagen T2.

The Sneaky Snack-eating Seagull..

The crime rate in Aberdeen, Scotland, has taken an unexpected upturn recently, but this is not the story of just any old 'jail-bird', and the villain will not be doing 'porridge' for his crime. In fact, local people are paying willingly for his dastardly deed.

Sam Seagull is a resourceful, tough character whose criminal act is along the lines of the well known rascal 'Robin Hood'. While Sam does profit somewhat from his crime, he is not averse to sharing his plunder with others of his type and kind.

Seagulls are know to have a diverse diet, including anything in the hand of an unsuspecting human. Fish and chips, sandwiches, ice cream etc are all fair game for a seagull, but they generally wait until a human has purchased the foodstuff.

Sam has decided not to wait for the purchase transaction, taking the law into his own beak by snaffling 'Tangy Cheese' flavored Doritos from a display just inside the door of a local store.

To see Sam in action, click on the link below..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0

Sam and friends...

Good words to live by

The only people with whom you should try to get even are the people who have helped you.

Always remember

Life is not about waiting for the rain to pass on, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Thought of the day

Being happy does not mean everything is perfect, it means you have decided to see beyond imperfections.

Two Chimps And A Blonde..

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back who have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble." "I'd be happy to," said the blonde.

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was stunned to see the blond woman; she was walking down the street holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to her. "What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo." "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World.

Switzerland..

.. die Schweiz, la Suisse, Svizzera, actually Confœderatio Helvetica, hence its country code 'CH'. During winter, it is a land of high snow capped peaks and waterfalls frozen in time. Summer sees the lower reaches green, covered in small alpine flowers, the breeze carrying the sound of cow bells. Chalets of all sizes, their balconies festooned with bright flowers, perch on the slopes. It is a remarkably beautiful country. To the right is a picture of a chalet and train on the Jungfrau in winter.

Already visited by many who like to ski, the Swiss Government is eager to draw more tourists, preferably the extremely well off. Architects are being called in to give the Swiss Alps resorts a face lift. The picture to the left is a design said to give the impression of illuminated trees, something I would imagine the surrounding lights do well all by themselves. This example owes less to skiing and more to a 'feel good' health spa of the 'exclusive' kind.

If You Don't Do Heights Well....

Look away NOW!!

Yes, that really is cloud under the deck of the Millau Road Bridge. It is not the tallest bridge in the world, but it is the tallest vehicular bridge, the deck being 803 feet above ground at the second pylon beyond Clermont-Ferrand. It cuts around 61kms off the journey between Clermont-Ferrand and Pézenas, and saves awful congestion in the small town of Millau, all three French towns being en route to the French Riviera and Spain, popular with Parisiens and the Brits during July-August.

Not quite as tall now, but I still don't feel even slightly envious. This is a shot taken looking for'ard of the Tall Ship 'Europa' while she was visiting the Halifax Tall Ship festival, 2007. The crew are demonstrating where not to be in a storm, actually readying to drop sails. The lucky ones get to pull anchor!

The sight is incredible, but one has to remember that sailing like this was not for the faint hearted, and many sailors would have been 'press ganged' into service. The 'Press Gang' would frequent drinking houses, selecting only the fittest of drunks for 'signing on the line'.

Scrumpy and The Marula Tree..

I am a huge fan of YouTube, and spend a reasonable amount of time typing in searches on all kinds of topics. It is amazing what can be found there. Just recently, a video has appeared showing African animals suffering intoxication as a direct result of consuming fallen, rotting fruit of the Marula tree.

It is true that a few animals do like the fruit, but most prefer it fresh. The leaves and bark have medicinal properties, and the skin of the fruit can be made into a coffee like drink. The pulp of the fruit contains way more vitamin C than all other more well known fruits, and the kernels inside release oil which is a good skin treatment.

People living in England's West Country and South West will be well acquainted with the alcoholic drink known as cider. Cider is the processed fluid extracted from apples. It is cleaned up, filtered, and has an appealing golden color. Scrumpy, on the other hand, is the raw product, straight from pressed, fermenting apples. The really strong varieties can knock out even a well seasoned drinker.

So, can animals get drunk eating rotting Marula fruit? The video, made back in 1974, would suggest that they can, but think about it. Eating rotten fruit is more likely to cause stomach upset, which will in turn cause the digestive system to reject it. One would have to consume a fair amount and hold it before fermentation and ensuing drunkeness would follow. Clearly, this would not happen, and in the case of elephants who actually prefer the fruit fresh from the trees, the amount of water also consumed by them would dilute the alcohol content to the point where it would have zero effect.

In the same way as rotting apples are used for Scrumpy and cider, rotting white grapes are used in the production of Sauternes wine. The vineyards call it the 'noble rot' which sounds better. I doubt that anybody eating rotten grapes has ever suffered drunkeness before having to use 'bathroom' facilities.

It would appear that the 'funny' video clip was in fact a staged event, and would not be allowed these days.

I can see that I have your mouths watering for a glass o' scrumpy, so here is a traditional Devon recipe.

Ingredients:

• 12 pounds apples
• 1/2 pound raisins
• 1/2 pound raw meat
• 1 gallon water at 70 degrees
• champagne yeast (tradition calls for bakers yeast)

Preparation:

1. Chop and grind the apples and raisins. These days a food processor will do the trick
2. Use a brewing barrel with an airlock
3. Put the ground apples and raisins into the water with the chopped meat.
4. Stir thoroughly
5. Add the yeast and seal the brewing barrel with the airlock.
6. Everyday swirl the barrel to stir the ingredients.
7. After the first fermentation slows, about 8-10 days, move to a similar vessal for seconary fermentation. If you like a dry cider, add a second dose of yeast to the secondary fermentation.
8. Seal with an airlock.
9. Let it sit until it the fermentation slows to a very slow, almost imperceptible bubble.
10. Move to a carboy to let the heavier particles settle out.
11. Let it sit for about a week and bottle.

The scrumpy should be left to mature for at least four months, and if left for a year will mellow out quite nicely.

One glass and the world seems a better place, two glasses and you probably do not remember.

High Speed Food?

The idea is that you order your food using the 'touchscreen', pay with a 'pre-paid' plastic card, and then sit and wait for your meal to negotiate the 'helter skelter'.

It would be interesting to see how this system copes with an order for a glass of iced water and slice of lemon!!

Broken Borders.. Broken Promises..

A National Icon? Almost..

Anybody travelling the highways of Spain will have seen one of these. It is a very large billboard advert for Grupo Osborne, wine and spirits producer. It has no wording on it because a law was passed some years ago banning roadside advertising, and the lettering was painted out. Later, there was a move to take all of them down, but after a 'spirited' campaign by the Osborne company where over 70% of people asked thought that they were a national icon, it was decided to leave them standing. They are the largest bulls anywhere, standing a little over 40' tall.

If over 70% said yes, that would indicate over 20% saying no. Most of the 20% and more live in the Cataluña region, where it has become the target of separatist groups.